When you ask your child about their school day, do they give you a one-word answer, a shrug, or just head straight to their room? While some kids naturally share details about their day, others may need a little help opening up.
Tips for Parents
Try these helpful tips to encourage better parent–child communication:
Start with Door Openers, Not Door Slammers
Instead of asking, “How was your day?” or “What did you learn today?” try asking more specific or open-ended questions like:
- What game(s) did you play at recess?
- Sing a song you’re learning in music!
- What made you laugh today?
- What was the hardest part of your day?
Tip: Try using the Keep Talking Parents Lead Playing Cards — a fun deck of conversation starters that takes the pressure off and encourages natural conversations.
Share in the Car
Sometimes the best conversations happen when you’re not face-to-face.
- In the car, kids may feel more relaxed because they don’t have to make direct eye contact.
- Silences are more natural, giving them time to think and process before responding.
This low-pressure environment can make it easier for kids to open up.
Know What’s Developmentally Appropriate
Grades K–5
Younger children may focus more on the small details (like what they ate for lunch) rather than big events — and that’s okay!
Be patient and model how to retell events by sharing how your day went.
By first grade, children can typically recall stories and answer who, what, when, where, and why questions.
By third grade, children are usually able to stay on topic, summarize a story, and explain what they learned.
Grades 6–12
As kids grow into teenagers, they may start to care more about what their friends think than their parents or teachers — that’s normal!
At around age 12, kids develop more abstract thinking skills and may want to discuss topics like fairness and justice.
Age 13 is often the quietest and most withdrawn stage.
- Don’t take it personally if your teen gives short answers or seems moody.
- Respect their space — but stay available when they’re ready to talk.
- When they do open up, listen without judgment (even if it’s just about a video game).
Communicate with the Teacher
- Keep up with classroom news through online platforms, class updates, or newsletters.
- Knowing what’s happening at school helps you ask more specific questions like:
- "What book did you check out from the library?"
- "How are you feeling about the field trip next week?"
Share at the Right Time
Kids are busy learning and growing all day — they might need time to decompress when they get home.
- If your child seems grumpy, tired, or hungry, give them space before asking about their day.
- Timing matters — find a routine that works best for your child, whether it’s during dinner, at bedtime, or while driving.
Make Sharing a Routine
Create a habit of sharing about your day together.
- Consistency helps kids know what to expect and makes them more likely to open up.
- Try these predictable questions:
- What was the best part of your day?
- What was the hardest part of your day?
- What was something that made you laugh?
- Describe how someone was kind today.
- If your child gets bored with the same questions, switch it up!
- Try "Would you rather…" questions or ask them to suggest new conversation starters.